“We don’t do Show and Tell here.”
It was a bold proclamation.
Especially because it was nowhere on the daycare orientation agenda.
Show and Tell is a staple of early education curricular design. It is as familiar as Play-Doh and and the “Clean Up” song.
How many times have you done Show and Tell in your life?
1, 2, maybe 3. Perhaps even 5. The number might even be higher depending on how your elementary school teachers repackaged the concept. It iterates into “About Me” posters and generic “what I did over my summer vacation” narratives.
But I would actually wager to say for most of us that the amount of Show and Tell in our lives isn’t a quantifiable amount, so much as a state of being. So can you really cancel it?
The Daycare That Doesn’t
The warning that lunches must be peanut and tree-nut free solicited fierce nodding. The reminder that closed shoes were necessary for stomping in the mulch during playground time was met with nods.
But the director’s plea that families dress their children in clothes that are appropriate for playing with shaving cream, fingerpainting, and gluing anything their sticky little hands can reach had already drifted out into the audience like a lead balloon. Or the Hindenburg.
Most families were still working through the idea of sending their children out in public in anything less than their best when the director quickly added, “We don’t do show and tell here.”
It was a sucker punch, really.
At first, there were a few inhales, only slightly more audible than usual, and some raised eyebrows. Then, the whispering started.
The director soldiered on. Sure, the kids could talk about new toys, but it wasn’t appropriate to bring them it. There were plenty of toys in each of the rooms already. They had already been vetted for choking hazards. The facility couldn’t be responsible for broken or lost items. She didn’t want families to have to scramble back after hours on a frantic quest to find a beloved toy that was left behind.
After a few more beats, she proceeded to the next agenda item. And then the next. Then, the orientation was over.
But it left me wondering if this director could really cancel Show and Tell.
Show and Tell As Life
The families seated in the audience at that daycare were playing Show and Tell. The cars they drove. The clothes they wore. The handbags they slung over their shoulders. Expensive, expensive, and obviously designer.
I was too.
Even as someone who has made a concerted effort to scale back on consumerism, I, too, play Show and Tell.
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I made sure that there was no evidence of the fact that my son believes my shoulders and arms double as his personal napkin. I also tried to conceal the fact that after a year, he is still a terrible sleeper who is wreaking havoc on my skin. I made sure that my engagement and wedding rings were securely on my finger, though I admittedly did not take the time to rinse the sunscreen out of the nooks and crannies.
While I’ve swapped out my more ostentatious bags (Baby Louis and Little Gucci would have been in good company that evening) for a plain black leather one, anyone with an eye can likely tell it’s designer. Even with my sensible Camry and simplified coiffure, I am still sending a message.
I might not be the most showy anymore. I certainly wasn’t the most tell-y that evening. But there is no denying the fact that I was also playing Show and Tell.
Can You Really Cancel Show and Tell?
I’ve had over a week to ruminate on this. The Western world, with it’s love of consumerism, next generation technology, and magazine-cover-model worship, isn’t just playing Show and Tell. We’ve turned it into a business. The biggest, really.
Of course, there’s been some backlash. Some desire to downshift, to minimize, to simplify, simplify, simplify. But even as more and more people flex their muscle, tighten their purse strings, and pledge, “Out, damned clutter!”, Show and Tell remains. Or maybe it simply rebrands.
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There will always be signs. There will always be signifiers and the signified, as much as any first year English major stuck in Semiotics 101 might wish there wasn’t. Objects will always communicate meaning. So will the absence of objects.
Maybe this daycare has good reason to do away with Show and Tell. The list was pretty convincing from where I sat. But I’m not sure that it will ever really be cancelled.
So Tell Me…Are you on board with daycares ditching Show and Tell? Do you think we, the grown ups, ever will?
One of my firm’s marketing chiefs told me once, that if you look around a gathering of executives, the one who is the most dressed down is almost always the most powerful. I think as we become more confident in our place in the hierarchy (or on the stage, as the case may be), we have more space to realize who we really are and can let that person out to be seen by others. Maybe its still Show and Tell, just a “look at me, I don’t care what you think” sort of S&T. That has to be better.
I agree with this perspective. I don’t think I really show and tell from a consumer perspective. I try to stay under the radar. My car is old. My phone is cracked. I don’t wear jewelry, and my uniform is rarely in TOP condition. I think being in the Air Force has given me the confidence to be who I am and not care what people think. There are those that are intent on “showing and telling,” but they usually have something to prove to someone – in my experience.
I do try to show and tell in my successes though. It typically has little to do with things or money. It’s more about the “look how far I’ve come from that small-minded town!” Look how successful I am now based on the position I hold! (Kind of an “in your face” to the haters show and tell.)
This is a great post Penny! You really got me thinking.
This is such an interesting perspective. I used to love Show and Tell as a child but it may be setting our children up for competition that they don’t need. Comparing what we have to others can leave you feeling inadequate. Thank you for sharing!
I couldn’t really tell what the daycare’s real reason is. I could certainly see how it might make someone feel inadequate, but they weren’t willing to say that. Hmm.
Based on your post I feel like they fear a lawsuit- you say they mentioned that their toys were already vetted for chocking hazards.
The inclusivity perspective makes for a nicer narrative though.
I really like this post. My first thoughts about Show & Tell went right to social media. Look who got a new car. Look who just went on a fancy vacation. I’m guilty, too (or really my wife is, I’m not that great at social media!). I think daycare is right to do away with it, but as you said, it may never really be cancelled.
I agree Gary! There are lots of places to show and tell and the person on the receiving end does not have to leave the house with social media. Nevermind heading out to see who is driving what cars and buying what things. I agree it might never be cancelled but at least there are some places where they are trying to remove the element. Some of the schools in the area had uniforms so clothes don’t need to be competitive. I did in my high school so the competition was about the shoes. There is always a way to show and tell.
So I am going the low road and not handling the philosophical question, but the daycare question.
Bean is obsessed with bringing toys to daycare, even though she is not supposed to. She can bring one thing to snuggle at nap time but it has to stay in her cubby the rest of the time.
I never know exactly how to feel, because she loves to bring stuff and see what other people bring. I am always torn with trepidation–is this early consumerism?!–or is a natural desire to share and be curious about others’ lives. I don’t know for sure.
I’m not sure that they ever had specific Show and Tell. Kids did bring books and toys in earlier classrooms but it was for personal sharing with friends and to play with together, not for sitting in a circle and saying “this is what I have today”.
This year the daycare stopped allowing kids to bring in toys for sharing. We only just started allowing JB to do so because ze is notoriously possessive and we really didn’t need YET ANOTHER reason for zir to pinch or bite or punch a classmate over someone grabbing zir toy.
As for the bigger metaphor? I mostly revel in not feeling much of a need to live the Show and Tell life anymore because of my privileged work existence. I am free to choose to project a neutral image, if anything.
“Not much” as opposed to “not at all” because I do care about presenting myself well in professional circles, or showing up properly attired to celebrate special events with friends. I think that’s related to being respectful and cognizant of the circumstances but it’s also a version of show and tell. It’s a signal that I understand professional and social norms.
That said, I did absolutely look at our neighbor with the perfect outfits and perfectly done hair and ask myself whether she’s going to judge me as inadequate with neither. It’s not going to change my already intended path of slowly improving my wardrobe, but it would tell me something about her if she does. How someone acts and talks tells me as much about them as their superficial layer does. I ended a budding friendship with a neighbor who openly and laughingly fatshamed a friend because I’m not ok with people who think that’s ok.
I yearn for an electric minivan for our family’s comfort (not that one is available in the US) but I won’t pay the price tags to import one and even if we were willing and able to do that, I don’t like the message that sends to people who have any clue about the cost of cars. I don’t like anyone making the assumption that we have money! 🙂
I don’t know. A time to show other people what matters to you. A thing you took time and care in choosing. A small presentation that encapsulates part of your beliefs and desires for yourself and the world. It seems to have value.