18 Comments

  1. Beth D.

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Can totally relate to your pain even though it has been 33 yrs since this first occurred for me. Yes I later went on to have 2 beautiful children, the oldest of which is getting married this spring. You are so right: EMOTION TRUMPS LOGIC! Let yourself feel, talk about anything you need to.

    • Thanks so much for commenting, Beth. I am going to email the comments to the person whose story this is, since I’m not sure if she’s up for re-reading her writing.

      I appreciate you chiming in and sharing your own story. Congrats to you and to your oldest. How exciting to have a springtime wedding. 😀

  2. Yep this was a trigger. As someone who’s been through five of these (two required D&Cs but three came and went on their own and she’s right about it being like a terrible period) I completely sympathize. My doctors were more consoling thank goodness but it really doesn’t help much.

    Nor, should I add, does finding out the sex. We got a chromosomal year done on the third embryo to check for abnormalities. It was a boy. Somehow knowing that just made it worse, as I chronicled in a post called “I would have had a son.”

    I hope this woman finds some peace when it’s all over and that if/when she tried again everything goes perfectly smoothly. But there’s always a small hole in your heart. It just aches less over time.

    • I am so sorry for your losses, Abigail. I always admire your courage to share so much so openly. I’ve never experienced a loss like that myself, and I can only imagine the hole that must linger. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and I’m so deeply sorry.

  3. I had a miscarriage after my first 3 children. Nov 20th, 12 years ago. As my friend expressed it at the time, when you have a baby you discover there’s this ‘club’ that you never knew about. When you have a miscarriage, you discover this other ‘club’ – which is not as much fun as the first one. But it’s a common bond among women who have walked this path before. I’m sorry for your loss.

    • I’m so sorry that you also went through this, Kari. And I think you’re right. There are all of these clubs that women and mothers are privy to in stages.

      Hoping sharing this guest post helps other people realize they don’t have to go it alone when it’s something that so many people sadly experience.

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