Track your spending. Review your expenses. Keep a budget. These are the fundamental aspects of straightening out any money messes you may have gotten into and making your money goals happen. And for good reason. They work! But what if, just like rules, budgets are meant to be broken at times? How would you know?
Two nights ago, I went on Facebook. Not for my blog, but real life, MLM-riddled Facebook. There was a notification waiting for me: You have not updated your timeline in six weeks. Funny. I swear it’s been longer. Aside from sharing an ultrasound photo back in January, I pretty much steer clear of this platform.
As I scrolled through my feed, though, something caught my eye. It was a link to a new GoFundMe account, and a relative of a close friend from college was staring back at me. In the midst of planning her wedding, she’s just been diagnosed with cancer. Though she has insurance, it’s no match from some of the bills. Like the wig she wants to wear on her wedding day that will cost hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. Instinctively, I went to click the “Donate Now” button, only to realize we’ve already maxed out our gifting budget for the month.
What in the actual hell is the matter with me?
There. You were thinking it, so I’ll say it.
I actually backed out of making a donation because I was worried about how my spreadsheet would look at the end of the month. I justified it away by telling myself that it would be the first donation we made in July. And then I came to my senses.
Budgets are meant to help us be smarter with our money, and sometimes they’re most definitely made to be broken. Here’s my personal checklist for knowing if it’s actually time to sabotage the spreadsheet.
- Can you spend this money without tapping into your emergency fund or other dedicated accounts? Do not sacrifice your financial security on a whim. You should make every effort to preserve these funds.
- Would you spend the money at a later date? If this is a spur of the moment expense, think about how you would feel in another day or week or month. Sleep on the spending for a night or two if you can.
- Is there a timetable tied to the expense? No, I’m not talking about clever email subject lines that have you convinced the only time something at Old Navy will be 60% off is right.this.instant. Sales come and go and come again. But if there truly is a limit to when this spending can happen, it might be time to pony up.
- Would you be content to spend the money if no one knew? No admirers to ogle your new purchase. No high fives for scoring a screaming deal. No rounds of applause to commend your charitable giving. If no one knows, would you still spend the money?
- Would you be content to spend the money if everyone knew? It’s always important to test the flip side. If you had to tell everyone that you busted your budget for another pair of shoes, would you still buy them?
- Is there a way to achieve a similar outcome without spending? Borrow, swap, trade, create, or even regift. But if none of those strategies solve anything, it might be time to spend.
If you’re looking to treat this like a Cosmo quiz, the secret to knowing that it is time to breakyour budget is five yes answers in a row followed up by a no.
And if you want to know if personal finance has turned me into the ultimate cheapskate or has forced me to channel my inner Scrooge, I can assure that it has not. Charitable giving is something that I’ll always be passionate about. Let’s face it. If we can’t spend on our passions, maybe there’s no point in spending at all.
So Tell Me…How do you know it’s time to bust your budget?
I can so relate! When you spend a lot of time thinking and writing about money, it can be so easy to get in your head and forget about what’s important. The other day with friends I was definitely geeking out about money in an unhealthy way and had to make myself stop. It was disc golf time, not complain about overpriced restaurants time. XD
I’m so glad you were able to stop and think about your own advice. ?
Oh, I’m so guilty of this, too. Even with Mr. P. We’ll be in the middle of a walk, and I’ll shift the conversation to 403(b)s. He knows to expect it at this point, but I do have to remind myself to take a breath and look around.
Oooooh, good question! I like that you have a gifting budget for the month, too. 🙂 I’m admittedly much more selfish with my money, so typically gifting doesn’t happen unless it’s to family. And even then, I make sure to use money from my side gig that won’t have an actual budget impact.
I like the idea of using side gig money for something like gifting!
I’ve recently been doing extra charitable giving when I receive a new credit card. Might as well help others, and in turn help myself meet some minimum spend requirements on travel cards!
That’s really clever, Jover! What a fantastic win-win!
I totally agree. While I try to limit and be reasonable about money spent on myself, I never question gifts or charitable donations. Those are “expenditures” I’ll never regret.
I found out that the daughter-in-law of a former coworker/friend was diagnosed with cancer and had a GoFundMe page set up. Without thinking about it, I donated to her fund. She and her husband were probably confused, not knowing who I am. Knowing that my friend is impacted is enough to make me want to help.
The important thing is that our spending aligns with our values, since you’re only accountable to yourself. If that means busting the budget, then so be it.
That would be the perfect question to add to my little checklist of sorts. Is the spending for someone else? I would be hard-pressed to think of a time when I spent on others and regretted it.
Best wishes to your friend’s relative. This does sound like an appropriate time to bust your budget.
It’s tricky, though, and at least part of the decision depends on how well I know the person in need. Because there is ALWAYS a person in need. Unfortunately, bad luck rains down on someone, somewhere, every single day.
You’d probably like to give to the families of at least half your students. I also have patients every day who would benefit from a financial boost.
For those who are closest to my heart, we’ll adjust our budget. For those farther away, we stick to our savings goals so we’ll be able to establish our charitable fund for the causes that we truly believe can do the most good rather than the ones that make it to our social media feeds or our local newspaper’s headlines.
You’re right that there’s always a need. I’m more closely acquainted with the person than I made it sound, I think. To go back to your point, though, that’s why I have to close out of GoFundMe after I donate. Otherwise, I want to give to all the people!
There’s an old saying “Charity begins at home”. I’ve always taken it to mean help those in your immediate vicinity first. Help your nearest and dearest, help those who live in your area, help those who live in your city. As ChooseBetterLife says, there is always someone in need at any given moment in every corner of the world. I can’t take care of ALL of the corners of the world but I can help to take care of my corner and hope that others are taking care of theirs.
A friend’s daughter? Yeah, wouldn’t even have to debate that one.
I love that saying. And it makes perfect sense. I always try to think about who I would want to reach out to me if the roles were ever reversed. And it’s that home circle that means the most.
I appreciate that you make it a priority to donate to charity. So many frugal bloggers appear to not donate to charity, or if they do, they rarely/never talk about it. I am doing a terrible job of donating relative to my income, but I am working towards making it a regular habit, and your charitable contributions are definitely an inspiration for me.
We definitely should do more. I’m hoping that once we get the new budget ironed out in the next few months, we can increase our charitable giving. And your kind words inspire me to work harder at it!
We definitely keep a gifting budget as well. It is one of the few categories that gets ‘rolled over’ if we don’t use it. An expense like this would be covered with rollover dollars or we would just spend it and go negative in this category.
Money is certainly amazing to have, but even more amazing to do worthwhile things with. This situation seems like a very appropriate time to take a budget hit.
I love the idea of rolling over a budget category! I usually just “top up” a donation to one of our favorite charities if we have money left at the end of the month, but that’s a fantastic idea.