The holidays are full of awkward moments. Like when your mother-in-law excitedly shepherds you into the family room to see the new family photos she framed. Your two sisters-in-law look like they stepped out of a magazine. And you? Well, you look like a cross between a Goodyear blimp and Violet Beauregarde because that’s what happens on a 90-degree day when you are 38 weeks pregnant. When I thought things couldn’t get any more awkward than that moment, the subject of money came up over and over again this holiday season.
“That’s awfully practical.”
People were incredibly generous this Christmas toward us and toward our son especially. Truly, the baby stuff runneth over. And over and over. At one moment, a cousin asked what Santa brought our little bundle of joy. Before I could control myself, I blurted out the truth: a few books, a pacifier, plates, and some spoons. After pausing sufficiently long to make sure that I didn’t accidentally omit a baby Ferrari or a pony, she replied, “Well, that’s awfully practical of Santa, isn’t it?” Before I could even make a retort about Santa being grumpy over a lack of cookies this year or the fact that Santa put his toy fund in a 529, she changed the subject.
“What did you get?”
An hour or so later, we were mixing and mingling and making merry when an uncle stopped us to ask, “And what did you get for Christmas?” Because I am a quick learner, I knew what not to say. I would not mention the BOGO deal on socks that Mr. P scored. I would not mention the new bath towels that I bought for us from us and stashed under the tree in an unwrapped Kohl’s box. I certainly wouldn’t talk about the cute little jars of sweet potatoes that were gifted to HP…in a bag from his baby shower. No, sir, I would not mention anything practical. Instead, I said, “Phones! We got phones! We had phones but these are better!” My husband jumped in, explaining that we got two new iPhone 8s a few weeks before Christmas. Then, my uncle replied, “So I guess that wiped out your gift budget, huh?” Or those were our gifts. You know.
“Wait, how much should I spend?”
To prove that I’m not only capable of being the askee, but also the asker, when it comes to awkward questions, let me regale you with the tale of my son’s first grab bag. After drawing names, a mass text went out sharing gift ideas. There was only one problem: I had no idea how much we were expected to spend, so I wasn’t sure what to suggest. The previous suggestions seemed to run the gamut price-wise, so I cautiously mentioned that my son might enjoy books or blocks or a toy for his high chair. Those seemed safe enough. I figured I didn’t want to be the person who orders filet mignon when everyone else is ordering a salad. (Let’s be serious, I’m totally the salad orderer in a sea of steak people.) When no one commented, I finally inquired, “So help a newbie mom out. How much do should I spend?” Cue the silence. Before you say it was my imagination, I could see the magical iPhone ellipses alerting me that someone was typing…and then they weren’t. A few hours later, someone finally threw me a bone and said $30. Or $20. Or whatever I wanted. Cleared that right up.
Psssst. Need more awkard in your life? I got you. I so got you.
So Tell Me…What’s your best awkward holiday moment?
Haha- this was hilarious! I avoided most awkward holiday conversation save for a few family members who had no idea we moved back and asked how long we were in town for (to be fair, we live 2.5 hours away, rarely see this side of the family and I’m not on Facebook). For me, I think I got a lot of “sooo, what are you getting your son?” before Christmas. We only bought him 2 things so I think people were a bit miffed at the low gift quantity (don’t worry, grandparents more than made up for it…). Happy New Year!
Oh, grandparents! As for low gift quantity, maybe next year I’ll just spout numbers from his 529 plan 😉
Practical Santa is the only Santa I want right now!
Preach!
This year was pretty devoid of awkward money talk for my Christmas. I fully anticipate some “That’s awfully practical” comments with the baby next year, though, for sure. I think people are used to my wife and I doing low key and practical things at this point, so it doesn’t raise eyebrows. Everyone expects babies to be spoiled, though, so we’ll see how that goes.
MATT, WHAT IS HAPPENING! WHERE HAVE I BEEN. BABY?! ::runs to your blog::
(PS – You will find that if you thought people were generous before, it flows like gangbusters once the little one arrives.)
Oh, hey, I’m having a baby! Haha My wife is due a month from tomorrow.
I thought I remembered talking to you about it at FinCon, but I must just remember talking babies because of HP’s adorable presence!
I am the worst blogger friend ever. I will remedy this!
Ouchh. I’m steadily becoming more anti-present for these reasons. It’s just become so awkward and weird, especially when you’re surrounded by people who take gift-giving to the extreme. You handled the awkward well! 🙂
Thanks! I think it’s sweet that people want to spoil my son. I’m not keen on finding a place for all of the stuff, but I appreciate the kindness. I guess I just don’t get too excited about swapping gifts with my husband. It’s really a matter of are we going to spend our own money this month or another one 😉
I have to admit: historically I am the awkward “WHAT DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS?!?!?!” asker. I can say that I would be as genuinely excited for you if you got something practical (like the pizza cutter I got from my mom this year) as something not–I’m mostly just nosy and think it’s fun.
In recent years I have dialed it back, though, because, well, it’s a really consumer-oriented question. I’m trying to retrain myself to ask something better, like, “What was the best part of your Christmas?”
Yes! I love that question. I made a point to use similar phrases (What was your favorite part of break?) when I started teaching.
Funny stuff! The holidays are ripe for awkward. Gather a bunch of people who know each other fairly well (meaning they can say things your friends might not), get a little nog flowing and voila, hilarity ensues.
The Oldsters are fairly straight forward at gift giving times. One or two gifts per person, or so. My mother-in-law however, believes that quantity trumps quality and that does create some awkward moments like when she wrapped up tampons for my daughter who had just started, well, you know . . . She will bring 3 or 4 garbage bags (the big ones) with gifts. We save the bags to haul most of it to the Humane Society Thrift Store. We’ve tried and tried to get her to change her methods, but to no avail. Sigh.
We have a few gifters who go for quantity over quality…but never feminine hygiene products. Hilarious (and awkward!)!
My Mom used to be like that. She would put together huge stockings of totally useless stuff for everyone, and then she would be upset when we would donate it to the thrift store/take it back/regift it. In the past few years, we’ve finally convinced her to scale back a lot, and it makes Christmas much more enjoyable. Although she did still get me a gift card to a store that I hate this year.
Also, she has never given anyone feminine hygiene products, so she has that going for her.
I think a lot of people are the in the more is more camp. Glad to see this is changing for her!
My holidays never seem to get too awkward (at least not yet!) but I did have an awkward pause when being asked from a friend what I got.
I went to work and everyone was around the normal spot where people chill and relax, so when I walked in one of my close co-workers asked me what I got. I answered books….They literally had no idea what to say, so I quickly jumped in and told them “it’s okay, it’s what I asked for!”
I have developed a book worm mentality over the past year with finance and it is still going strong!
I love it! Books are my favorite, too. One year, I made a grab bag list but because I didn’t really want anything, I put a bunch of titles that I’d use in my classroom library. But I forgot to mention that’s what I was doing. I had some really confused relatives wanting to know why I wanted the Diary of a Wimpy Kid box set.
My gift exchange wish list was SO practical that someone made comments about it later when we opened gifts. Remind me to tell you privately what they were since I don’t want to leave enough informational bread crumbs to be identified. 😀
To avoid much further awkward, I kept my mouth shut for most of the holidays that involved family but they shared a LOT of weird and bizarre advice with me. See Monday’s December NW post for some examples.
You know you can always drop links here, friend! <3 Let's start a practical gift club, shall we?
I forgot! http://agaishanlife.com/2018/01/net-worth-life-report-december-2017/
Let’s do! It’ll go well with our Poshmark selling club 😀
We splurged this year for a Christmas cruise, because it was also my & my husbands’ 30th birthday in the same week! We had been planning it for over a year. It was super wonderful and totally worth it, but a few people both before and afterwards asked “so, what did you guys get each other for Christmas?” or “did you do a birthday gift exchange?” We got each other a cruise, for Christmas and Birthday, and if $2200 isn’t enough for gifts then YOU ARE INSANE. I just stare at them until they go “or… did you just get each other the cruise?” Yes. Yes we did.
Awww Penny, you always have the best awkward moments. Plus there’s always so much awkward involved when talking gifts. I wish Christmas were more like Thanksgiving where everyone just gets together and is grateful for what they already have. Luckily I’ve managed to reduce my gift giving and receiving down to a minimum, but it does make it awkward when people ask what my wife and I gave each other (we’re going to go out to an event sometime in January as our “gifts”).
Yes! I love that about Thanksgiving. Everyone is all about coming together to celebrate over good food…and that’s it! I hope you have fun at the January event 🙂 Sounds like a winner of a gift to me!
My sweet 5-year-old keeps getting asked what santa brought him. He says it’s a secret. We don’t know why. But it does stop judgment.
Honestly, how many eyebrows would you raise if you were asked about your gift to your husband, and you said, “I can’t tell you.” If you have the right look on your face, they will be scared to ask. ?
That’s hilarious, Julie! I am totally saving that for next new. Props to you and your kiddo for inspiring it 😉
and your happy! That’s what people don’t understand that you are happy with what you want and what you received. Absolutely loved this post!
We were and are happy, Vickie! You’re right that is something that people (including me!) struggle with. We want lots of stuff = happiness. Glad you stopped by!
My most awkward Christmas moment was hands down the time my mother called me “a f&%king asshole” while me and my family were all seated at the Christmas table. I won’t go into the details other than to say I was riling up grandpa (her dad) and I deserved it. I was mortified at the time but now I laugh about with the entire family, including mom. Glad you survived your awkward Christmas this year. And best of luck in 2018. Cheers.
Oh, goodness! I’m glad you can all laugh about it now.
Mine would have been at a Secret Santa exchange. I put Dogs as one of my interests thinking someone could easily get me a cheesy canine themed mug or something for cheap! Instead I got … ingredients for mulled wine and a note saying though she couldn’t find a dog for $10 I could make wine and drown my sorrows about not having a dog. WTF?
OH.MY. I feel like I should say more, but oh my pretty much sums it up!
I had an awkward coworker who would not stop inquiring about my holiday plans. (Pro-tip, leave folks alone and take a hint) Eventually I had to remind him that my dad had just died and I don’t have a mother and thus have no “home” to go to. If he had taken a hint that I didn’t want to discuss my plans the whole room could have been less awkward. For them, not me. I don’t go “home” for Christmas and never have. Those are not my people.