I’m a big fan of giving credit where credit is due: Cher Horowitz, this is on you. Growing up, my mission in life was to score a computer–complete with dial-up, of course–that would scan my closet and sound an alarm should I mis-match any of my plaid pieces from Contempo Casual. And while I never scored that computer, I’d like to think my closet did hers proud.
The only problem? I’m no longer proud of
this closet any of my closets. In fact, my linen closet just about broke me. I am no longer comfortable operating under the hedonistic haze that is consumer culture. Instead, I’d like to be more purposeful with my spending. And I’d also like to have a place to put my sheets.
The sad thing is, I wasn’t alone in my clueless quest for stuff. Consumerism is so deeply entrenched in our culture that we don’t even recognize it anymore. Don’t believe me? See if you recognize anyone you know in the list below.
You might have too much stuff if…
- You have more handbags than there are days in a week…or month.
- You have more shoes than there are days in a season.
- You didn’t realize you lost your North Face jacket last year because you had two of them and spent the past six months assuming one was “in the wash.”
- You own a hardboiled egg slicer.*
- You ask your husband to hand you the vase, and he replies, “Which one?”
- You keep single socks that the dryer divorced from their mates long ago.
- You find a pair of shoes in your closet that no one in your house ever owned.**
- You spend more than five minutes deciding what to wear because you’re overwhelmed with options.
- You have VHS tapes.
- You stash boxes of
belongings stuffjunk at your parents’ house because that’s easier than dealing with it.***
- You own items that still have tags on them even though they’ve been in your possession for
- You have purchased a replacement for something only to find the original item after the fact.
- You keep toiletries from hotels knowing full well you won’t use them.
- You have your old Babies. Even the one whose hair you tried to cut into bangs but really just created a mullet-y buzz cut.
- Your office supply drawer could support a small business. Don’t mess with my Flair pens, though.
- You have more food storage containers than your refrigerator, cupboards, and lunchboxes could ever hope to hold.
- You own knickknacks. Lots of them.
- You have old t-shirts that haven’t seen the light of day in years. Not even when you’re painting.
- You own a pickle picker.***
- You nodded your head when you read at least one of these statements.
*Seriously, use a knife. It’s not worth the heartache trying to get that sucker clean.
**I’m looking at you, Mr. P.
***It’s called a fork, amirite?
So Tell Me…How’d you do? Do you have too much stuff? Care to guess which of these are based on firsthand knowledge?